I started singing when I was 12 years old. I was at school and there was announcement for singing lessons. And for some unknown reason, I decided I wanted to do them. So I went home and asked my parents, and it was agreed that we could afford for me to take the lessons. Now I have absolutely no idea what motivated me to want to learn to sing, but I’m so grateful that 12-year-old me made that decision.
A year later at 13 I was cast in the school production of Grease as the lead. And there began my love of performing. I had the ‘bug’. After that I joined the schools musical theatre group, became the lead singer for the schools jazz band, took part in extra-curricular performances, and loved all of it. I continued to have lessons at the same time, continuing into sixth-form, where I took triple BTEC Performing Arts and BTEC Music Performance. My final year at that school at the age of 18 was one of the best of my life, I was only taking subjects I enjoyed, I got together with my wonderful boyfriend, I took a Grade 8 LCM in Music Theatre, and I got into a performing arts college in London.
So in September 2012 I packed up and moved to London for 3 years, leaving my wonderful family and boyfriend behind (he moved up 6 months later). I learnt an awful lot about singing, and myself, in this time. I achieved my DipLCM and ALCM in this time. But while my voice improved beyond what I thought I was capable of, my personal well-being declined heavily. I was miserable, but I didn’t let myself fully feel the extent of the damage until I left college in June 2015. It affected so much about me, but saddest of all, it affected my love of performing. For the next few months, I barely sang at all.
Once we’d moved back to Devon, it still took a few months, and a rare empty house, for me to really sing again. To stand and belt out as loud as I could, to test my voice again, feel the boundaries, and push them further. Right now, my voice is probably even better than when I was at college, strangely because there’s been no one there to hear me, no one to pass judgement as I test out what I can do, to hear me crack and wobble and go out of tune, and then try again and hit a soaring note that I’ve never hit before. To hit it again, and again, until I’m totally comfortable with it. And it feels wonderful. Even with nobody to hear it, the satisfaction is immense. And it makes me want to sing again, to form some sort of career, albeit not the one I originally imagined I would have.
So for now I’ll keep on singing, and keep on dreaming, until I find what I want to do with it. I’ll find a way.
Have a lovely day x